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And it happened too fast, even I could not believe it.It all started with Anil being entrusted with the duty of overlooking his company’s newly set up office in Bangalore. He was instructed to move to Bangalore, and with all of our children living in hostels, I was going to be alone at home. Anil did not want me to live alone and asked me to come to Bangalore with him. He was going to be provided with an apartment and a car.Though I am well educated, Bangalore still was a cultural shock for me. Everything I heard about the lifestyle in Bangalore was completely against my conservative outlook. And while I did not have any issues with Anil moving to Bangalore, I was just not ready to shift to a place I was not going to be comfortable. And hence, I choose to stay back in Kerala, even if it meant I was going to be home alone.Anil left soon and to get rid of the boredom, I thought of watching serials and movies online. I had my elder son Sanjay’s old laptop with me but as I had no idea. After five years on my own, making my own choices, living my life the way I wanted to, that man was no longer the man of my dreams. Now I dreamed of meeting someone who was not intimidated by my strength, but accepted it; someone who could deal with me being in charge, making decisions, giving me his opinions and not orders.I looked over at Billy and thought, 'Could you be that type of man? I know you are aroused by my physical strength, but could you deal with me being the one in charge of our lives. You're only seventeen; could you fall in love with an older woman like me? Maybe, maybe not, but I think at the very least we could help each other experience the physical side of love. I really want to be with a man, experience the feelings of making love to someone for the first time, knowing that person is experiencing the same feelings for the first time as well. Could I seduce him? Would that be even necessary; after all he's a teenage virgin; or would he be repulsed at the thought.
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